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Guarding your friendships Proverbs Reflection

Read

19The wicked and the proud

love trouble and keep begging

to be hurt.

20Dishonesty does you no good,

and telling lies

will get you in trouble.

21It's never pleasant

to be the parent of a fool

and have nothing but pain.

22If you are cheerful,

you feel good;

if you are sad,

you hurt all over.

Contemporary English Version, Second Edition (CEV®) © 2006 American Bible Society. All rights reserved.
See this passage in other languages or Bible versions

7The poor are ruled by the rich,

and those who borrow

are slaves of moneylenders.

8Troublemakers get in trouble,

and their terrible anger

will get them nowhere.

Contemporary English Version, Second Edition (CEV®) © 2006 American Bible Society. All rights reserved.
See this passage in other languages or Bible versions

–2–

24Don't make friends with anyone

who has a bad temper.

25You might turn out like them

and get caught in a trap.

Contemporary English Version, Second Edition (CEV®) © 2006 American Bible Society. All rights reserved.
See this passage in other languages or Bible versions

Reflect

In these verses Solomon gives us counsel on a number of matters that have to do with friendship. Throughout the Proverbs Solomon has shown a consistently high view of friendship. In life we are thrown together with many acquaintances. We have family, neighbors, people we work with and various other companions. We can’t control all of the factors that put us in relationship with others: we can, and must, decide who to allow into that select circle of people that Solomon calls “friends.”

Without developing an exhaustive list, Solomon gives warning about some relationships that are certain to bring unnecessary trouble: people who love to fight, people who have an exaggerated view of their own importance, people who are chronic fault-finders, people who have shown themselves to be liars, bullies, people who are prone to violent anger, to name just a few.

Life casts us in many situations where we must deal with all kinds of people, even some whom Solomon has warned about. His earlier advice to be friendly to all people is consistent with the teachings elsewhere in the Bible, especially in the teachings of Jesus. Nevertheless “being friendly” to others doesn’t automatically bring them into our circle of friendship.

Many centuries after Solomon compiled the Proverbs, the apostle John observed regarding Jesus:  [Jesus had many acquaintances . . .] who believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did; but Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men . . . John 2:23-25 (NKJV) Friendship in the biblical sense, is always a two-way commitment. It is a treasure to be carefully nurtured and protected.

Respond

O God: Give us the grace to understand the wisdom of Solomon and follow the example of Jesus as we choose our friends.

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Clair MacMillan

Clair MacMillan is the National Director of the Church of the Nazarene Canada, a position he has held for the past 8 years. He served the Church of the Nazarene as a local pastor for 33 years before accepting assignment in church administration. He is the primary author of The SourceBook for Clergy Development Canada, and has contributed articles to numerous periodicals and books. He and his wife Donna, live in Moncton, New Brunswick.

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