Read
5A truly good friend
will openly correct you.
6You can trust a friend
who corrects you,
but kisses from an enemy
are nothing but lies.
7If you have had enough to eat,
honey doesn't taste good,
but if you are really hungry,
you will eat anything.
8When you are far from home,
you feel like a bird
without a nest.
9The sweet smell of incense
can make you feel good,
but true friendship
is better still.
10Don't desert an old friend
of your family
or visit your relatives
when you are in trouble.
A friend nearby is better
than relatives far away.
17Just as iron sharpens iron,
friends sharpen the minds
of each other.
23Honest correction
is appreciated
more than flattery.
Reflect
I was picking up grandchildren after school and one of them hurt a brother, so, being the babysitter, I enforced their mother’s rule and took away the day’s allowance from the offending party. He didn’t like it but accepted it.
Discipline is not meant to be liked, it is meant to change. Discipline is no fun at all for it is not a good day for a child to have some of their allowance deducted, be grounded or worse, but in the end the child grows into a mature adult and at long last, as we become adults, the days of rebukes and retributions are over. At least they should be over.
Wouldn’t it be nice to enter adulthood and not do anything stupid or unseemly or ever to be rude or cruel, to truly have left the Junior High brain, with all its positioning and posturing, far behind? But so often, even as adults, we find ourselves asking, “Why did I ever do that?”
“Why did I…?” is a good question to ask ourselves, but sometimes we don’t ask ourselves the question and we don’t face up to the fact that what has happened is perhaps beyond inappropriate. In fact, it just stinks. This is when we need others in our lives. We need people we have connected with and built community with, people whom we love and from whom we receive love, friends who show their friendship by being willing – not overly willing, but willing because they are friends – to wound us with a rebuke. The Wise Man here tells us not to flee or resent these rebukes for they are like perfume, a true home, a sharpening iron. We should be hungry for them and eat them even though they do not taste good on the way down.
Consider this. Is there anyone who has loved you enough to point you back to the right path, to tell you that you have been wrong, who has encouraged you to apologize – but you resented it? Well, get off your high horse and go thank them for they are the people who truly love you.
Respond
Father, in your kindness you have sent people into my life to point me to a better path. Thank you for them. In your grace open my ears to them so that I may more carefully follow you.
Franklin Pyles
Franklin Pyles was a pastor of churches that served inner city neighborhoods, taught theology at Canadian Theological Seminary, and then was a pastor in a medium sized Ontario city. He then served his denomination, The Christian & Missionary Alliance as President for the full time allotted. He has written on C.S. Lewis and on a variety of ministry and church concerns. He continues a preaching and teaching ministry, currently at McMaster Divinity College. Publications: Most electronic and in house for the Alliance.